http://weblog.ecommunics.org/labyrinth/http://weblog.ecommunics.org/labyrinth/archive-2004.html#134There's not much to write I'm afraid! That's the funny thing about weblogs, or at least in my case. I'm always really enthusiastic about writing in my blog and all the things I want to write down, but when the time comes, I never actually have anything to say.... I hate that feeling. It's like a confirmation of one of my deepest fears: that I'm just a blank. That I have no personality. Nothing to contribute. That I'm like one of those Scandinavian girls with wispy blonde hair and a vacant stare. I hope not. Today was a pretty good day. I got a 10 in my Argentine Economic History exam, which was unexpected, all my other classes went well, and the seminar I'm doing on Mondays from 7-9pm took on a really interesting turn when we covered Marx. I'd just about had it with Ricardo at this point. I took the tube back home with the guy that sits next to me in the seminar- he's graduated and has recently decided to enter the diplomatic service. Good luck to him! However, as I was confessing all my hidden aims and ambitions, I realised that I felt somewhat embarrassed. This also happened last Saturday. A guy was chatting me up at a party, and loudly boasting about his academic life (or lack of). Apparently he hadn't dropped out of more than one subject this term. When he asked me about my situation, I told him I was doing 3 subjects, plus another one from the next term, unofficially (this would be Arg. Ec. History). I also told him about the essay I'm writing on outsourcing (which reminds me that the deadline is in June!). And that I'm looking for a job. And all the rest. I'm slowly coming to realise that a lot fo people don't really care. They just want to pass, to get their degree and move on with their lives. They're not that bothered about whether they learn or not either. This seem to bother me a lot. It makes me feel haughty, and I start to regard these people with contempt. It's a nasty habit I should try to break. At the same time, as well as feeling slightly arrogant I also feel inadequate and embarrassed. I've tried to be less paranoid but I just can't help it. I've been looking for jobs this week. I don't want to do telemarketing but that's all there is, realistically. Anything else that I'm qualified for pays much less. I find the idea of telesales quite apalling. Daunting, even. I'm terrible when it comes to selling products- the only things I think I could sell are ideas, and none of those jobs are an option right now. I also applied for a job that randomly came my way at the Central Bank. I had to do this sample translation, which I did badly because I was in a flish of excitement and nervous anxiety. The guy screening the application never replied so I'm going to take that as a no. It was really nice of him to consider me though. I keep having fantasies about getting a job- a real job. Something I can actually learn from, but I think that's going to have to wait until I have something more worthwhile to put on my cv. If only.... Uh oh. Rob wants me to go to sleep. Until tomorrow!